"So, which brand will have the best ad?" people keep asking me as we get nearer to the super bowl, expecting me to have seen them all already. I am sworn to secrecy, gais, all I can share with you here are the teasers. Much as I hate teasers. Mercedes Benz are one giant tease this year, a title that should earn them a smack in the butt with a wet towel.

They tease with a glimpse of a car that's so stunning, people drop dishes.

Dishes - Mercedes-Benz Super Bowl 2013 Commercial Teaser

It makes jukeboxes go gaga.

Jukebox - Mercedes-Benz Super Bowl 2013 Commercial Teaser

It melts sundaes.

But worst of all, this one. The Tease with Kate Upton. She has graduated from the Carls Jr Patty Melt to luxury cars. You know I can just picture this idea coming into fruition via a discussion about adding "in bed" to the end of anything makes it better, and then it was softened to "in slow motion" because "in bed" is too raunchy. So they wrote the line "Kate Upton washes car in slow motion" and then high fived themselves and everyone around the office. And the twist? She isn't. OH THE TEASE. Stawp it.

Mercedes-Benz CLA super bowl 2013 teaser: Kate Upton washes car in Slow Motion

And now we know, Mercedes-Benz like to lead you on. Much like that trophy-wife you bought the damn thing for.