As for number two: if the client places the ad himself, he'll give you the wrong size and it's usually too small. Production will not bother to inform either you or the client and will simply try to enlarge the ad. If someone does bother to call and the size isn't too far off, production will disregard your request to just float it and try to enlarge the art or, stick a border on it.

For number 18, sure they've got a logo and they're faxing it over right away.

The client will wait until his print job has been delivered before calling with "just one more thing."

If , upon a client's request, you email him an EPS of his logo, he will call wanting to know why he "can't see the attachment." Even if you explain it beforehand -- 'cause they never, ever read your emails or memos or listen to you on the phone.

You will, at some point, forget to add an extension. The lazy folks in whatever production department, rather than figure it out, will immediately call you to say the file's bad (not that that's an excuse for sloppiness but...).

Hey tlevitz, long time no see round these parts. :) Good to see ya.

Then of course there is #38. When all is finished and tweaked and had the starburts in place the client will suddenly want to run the very same ad in a very different format: Like a bus-poster instead of a single-page press.
"It won't take that long" they chirp happily "all you have to do is enlarge the whole thing a little." they say as they look at you as if you were a human copier-machine with a hidden "enlarge 1000%" button somewhere.

Or even worse they suggest just shrinking it down to make it into a web ad. ;)

I love you guys. You understand. *sobs*

As a computer consultant, ALL of these apply to some degree to my work as well!

Especially #'s: 3,4,5,7,12,23,26,28,31,32,33,34,36, & 37[!!!!!!!].

(Note that I often need to make presentations to clients, and am expected to include their logo in the presentation, without being sent any - and not allowed to copy any from their current website).

There's one computer adage (also an engineering one) that goes something like: "Work will expand to fill the available time. Data will expand to fill the available space". [My bad paraphrasing, I'm afraid]. It is implied that time and space will be overfilled!

Allan

Oh yeah, I so know what they mean about the data in that saying. This damn website is like Kudzu. I plop a new disk or two in and overnight it's like KUDZU EAT CAR!! and the disk or partition is 100% full and I need more space. Good thing bigger disks are getting cheaper all the time. ;)

With copy, the reverse seems true: The amount of information clients want to cover often seems inversely proportional to the size of the ad they're willing to pay for.

The clients who spend the least are the most demanding, most untrusting of your ability and give you the most grief. On the other hand, the clients who spend the most are the least demanding, most trusting of your ability and give you the least grief.

Wiith radio, the client always wants a puny 15 second script with 20 seconds worth of must have brand-name-repeating words they simply can't do the ad without.

Enough bashing o'the clients. Yes, clients don't know much about file formats. Sometimes, they have a gut reaction that tells them a design is wrong for the project, but they can't put it into words. True enough. They're suits, not designers, and often they may not know better. It is rarely malicious, irritating as it may be.

But remember that not all designers, art directors, and copywriters are as talented as you are. The first two - or 20 - comps might just suck. And suck hard. Even the best in the business produce half-assed work on occasion, so remember what the typical ad hack comes up with at the deadline. Creatives who don't care: This is what clients deal with far too often.

The client is always right. And, sometimes, just sometimes, the client really is right.

P.S. Can you make the logo bigger?

Aaaah!!! Who let you in!? :) I keed.

Yaknow, I actually made the logo 30% smaller than I really wanted it to be at the first presentation, so that you could look the layout over and then ask me to make the logo bigger, three times before it became silly to ask for that yet again. I'd make it 10% bigger every time, and in the end, I get the logo-size I want, and you get the logo-size you asked for. Ain't love grand?

Yes! And don't get me started on public radio undwriting spots--15 seconds, no call to action, etc., etc., etc.

Brilliant strategy. Or, as your average corporate client would say, "That's a win-win! Feel the synergy!"

So true...even after 6 yrs nothing changed!
cheers fellows!

Client will always be excited to share new ideas such as revolving globe and popping stars but when you will not like you to tell that it will cost 5 times more of what he initially intended to design. I wonder why is payment always the last thing discussed between a client and a freelancer where as it should be the other way around.

Yep, this all sounds about right. Especially number 27. ALL clients think they are designers.

One of my *proudest* technological moments is when I had to lift a logo for a sponsor (for a film festival) from their website on short notice, to put at the end of a promotional trailer.

It was hidden in a background DIV tag with some minor javascript. Easy for me to find after 15 years of building websites, not so easy for some kid out of film school.

All of these are funny, except for #11. That's probably because I'm a "proof raeders."