"Holy shit, it's Jeremy Renner."
"Yeah. Look, I know you just rolled up this diner to eat, but lemme borrow your Jeep."
"Just lemme do it."
"You have a tour bus right there. It has your name all over it."
"Right. Well, you can hitch a ride with them."
"What's a road house tour, anyway? Are you pretending you aren’t famous?"
"Just get in the bus. You can come to the show."
"Get in there? With those people from central casting? One of them just called you "Jer." Do you really go by "Jer?"
"You’re on the guest list to my show. I recorded music in my house. I even licensed it to this Jeep commercial so I make money, since no one buys songs any more."
"So let me get this straight. You're gonna steal our car and then force us to hear you sing? I knew Hollyweird was fucked up but this is beyond fucked up."
"I'll give you the Jeep back when I'm done."
"Fine. Whatever. But listen--PLEASE promise you won't try to go off-roading in it or get out of the car and start dancing in the sand because I really don't want you tracking sand in my car. You hear me? No sand in my car. Promise."
"Jeremy? YOU BASTARD, IF THERE'S SAND IN MY JEEP, SO HELP ME I'M CALLING THE POLICE. COME BACK HERE, YOU WEIRDO."
Client: Fiat Chrysler